Overdue Update

I haven’t felt like writing much lately.  Part of that is that I’ve been super busy with things for the last month or so, and part of it is that things have gone fairly well for me.  My base fitness has clearly come around and I’m doing okay putting in the time.  Socially, I’m still out in the woods, without a map or compass.  I guess I’ve sort of given up on that for a while.  I’ve made a few friends, but as far as romantic stuff goes… well… I’ll probably get a tri podium before I find someone I really actually like who might like me too.  Whatever…

Physically, I’m coming into form.  My swimming has dropped off.  I need to pick it back up to make sure I’m conditioned for a LONG swim, but I feel like my technique is adequate.  Not good, but adequate. My bike work is finally starting to pay off.  I’m not hanging with the A group or anything like that just yet, but I will in time and I’m able to lay down 50+ miles at a good clip, the way I could last year when i was at 80-90% of my peak form.  Running is another story but it’s not due to fitness.  My knee is killer.  The stress reaction has resolved as far as I can tell and even my shin splints seem to have subsided.  I just need to keep the knee functional and durable enough to last through the Flying Pig half marathon and then through a couple 6 mile fitness runs till my 70.3.

Last weekend I ran my first truly long run and did a lot of work towards erasing the remaining doubt I have about being able to complete this challenge.  I don’t think I’d ever run more than 6 or 7 miles, but I laid down 12.6 miles on Saturday at an 11:01 min/mile pace.  I’m really proud of that.  I didn’t know if I would make it, and I walked a lot towards the end because of my knee but I was able to push through, and that gave me a huge confidence boost. I need to do a 1.2 mile swim in the pool, do some open water swimming, and do some big steep hill repeats and I’ll feel that I’ve prepared myself enough as long as I continue to get 5+ hour rides in every weekend.

It’s still dark a lot.  Mornings are incredibly difficult because I don’t want to pound my legs too much with running and I cant seem to drag myself out of bed to the pool.  I’m unhappy with my diet and while I’ve become more resigned about my social life, it’s still a disappointment.  I’m drinking too much, and not sleeping enough.  So yes, it’s still dark.  But maybe the flashlight that is my training has finally become reliable?  Maybe I am just accepting that I’m 30 and unhappy and that’s just how it is.  Maybe I forgot what it’s like to really be content?
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One thought on “Overdue Update

  1. you got this!!! take one step at a time. Sometimes happiness is fleeting, sometimes it’s nice enough to stick around for awhile. Take in every little moment. Even when it seems the darkest, we learn the invaluable pieces of ourselves and grow stronger.

    Liked by 1 person

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